By: Aalam Singh Batth
Disclaimer
*All cakes and baked goods represented and appearing in this literary work are real and do exist in this fictitious world. Moreover any representation of societal structure and events are directly appropriated in accordance to the events of this fictitious world. Anything deemed inappropriate or against the morals of the societal structure, will be dealt according to the Constitution of Sweetzeerland.*
*No baked goods were destroyed or wasted in this work of art, they were consumed, respectfully and whole heartedly*
*The Constitution of Sweetzerland, baked with love at 180 degrees celsius*
In an atmosphere glowing in a vibrant mixture of pink, blue and green, with a Donut shaped moon and flying Macron saucers swaying through the sky. One would think of an atmosphere of sheer joy with an intoxicating aroma of sweetness tingling everyones olfactory senses. However, that was not the case, as in the joyous warm month of Croissune, an unprecedented case tingled the minds of all the baked citizens of Sweetzerland. The controversy arising out of a tweet on the infamous app recently named Batterbuzz by its founder Ilon Crust, a prominent writer renowned in the baked world, Aalam Singh Batth had just posted one of his overthinking induced thoughts.
[ Batterbuzz handle: @asb.62 “Is brownie just a type of cake?”]
The tweet had wide ramifications on the identity of all the brownies in the republic Sweetzerland. The societal structure of Sweetzerland was created when a sweet type of bread called a Tea Cake was baked and brought into the world, this led to a violent uprising in the Republic of Crumbs, where the then existing sweet citizen along with the Tea Cakes revolted to form the now existing Republic of Sweetzerland. For a long time it had a sweet and savoury existence, its judicial system and various other governmental department simply existed for good governance and there were no prominent issues or backlashes. Until, Aalam overthought.
Aalam Singh Batth’s erstwhile blog and its subsequent book titled: ‘The Baked and White’ (pun intended), was a rousing, even an arousing interest (wink wink) amongst the populace of Sweetzerland, especially the Chapter called Last Slice, being considered a prominent classic (even though the book didn’t do that well amongst the human populace). Hence, Aalam’s writings were the cultural trend. However, this tweet, made even the joyful sweets overthink and turn sour.
There was a societal uproar, with other citizens boycotting and threatening to strip brownies of all the fundamental rights and privileges, for their dual identity could not be accounted for, nor a new category for brownies was to be created. For sweets and baked goods just like humans, tended to be not so susceptible and open to change. Only recently had the supreme court recognised the relationship between rainbow flavoured goods as acceptable, however they were not given the right to marry which still had its legal issues and lacuna. The issue of brownies however introduced a new issue and topic of assuming one’s identity. The brownie wanted to be recognised as both a cake and a cookie, however both the baked sweet and the general sweet populace couldn’t stomach such a thought.
The main point of contention before the Chief Justice Bake, was that whether or not brownies were a cake or a cookie? All baked experts and scientific experts were called to testify their findings. Even the humans were consulted in this soon to be landmark case. The defence mainly consisting of brownies contended the following:
Defense: My Lord! This is a ludicrous and fictitious argument!Why are we arguing over a stupid tweet. Brownies can’t simply be ousted from the baked community and be considered merely a status of a sweet! With no rights and simply considered as ingredients and components that serve through their labour to all the baked goods and dishes!
CJ, Bake: No the tweet cannot be considered fictitious for the sake of this blog, we owe are existence to Aalam, for we exist only in his writings and through his limited but passionate audience! The tweet is considered as evidence.
Prosecution: Bravo my lord, may you be consumed in a hearty and wonderful meal before the period of expiry of consumption! For being left to be stale and to be left unconsumed will never be befitting for your humble competence and wisdom.
Defence: My lord! The findings stated that we have a chewy and cookie like consistency of cookies, and yet although composed of almost similar ingredients as cakes, we are much more denser than cakes. My lord we are not cookies nor cakes but proud to be brownies! Irrespective of flavour and irrespective of colour!
The words, “we are not cookies nor cakes but proud to be brownies! Irrespective of flavour and irrespective of colour!” These words became forever entrenched and often cited in the societal, cultural and legal framework of the country. For brownies were to be considered as brownies, as sweets, as baked and above all as a delicious food.
For what was easily supposed to be a cake-walk, was not to be for sweets and baked goods, just like humans were adamant to change nor were they understanding. One should exist, accepting their differences, for what do we have to gain from assuming the identity or flavour of others? As long as we are truly comfortable and proud of our identity and flavour, others shall be to. Who are we to say this flavour is good, which identity is the best or ideal? Everyone has their own tastes and preferences!
